EEEEEEK!
Two traveling, door-to-door CHRISTIAN ZEALOTS caught me in my front yard this morning. Me, trapped between a fallen tree limb, a big pile of debris, and two bible-waving, big-haired, flat-shoed......CHRISTIAN WOMEN! very unnerving, but......also entertaining .
Conversation as follows:
T (them): Have you found God yet?
M (me): i didn't know she was missing!
T: HE is always present.
M: Then why are you looking for her?
T: WE have found HIM, and we want to give you the opportunity to enjoy HIS BLESSINGS in the HEAVENLY KINGDOM.
M: That sounds like a place for kids' birthday parties. Is it new?
Silence. New tactic:
T: Let me read you a scripture that will help you to gain insight into our LORD'S hope for us.
M: No thank you. But if you have an instruction manual for my computer i'd appreciate a lesson. My email is all screwed up and i haven't been able to access my address book.
Silence, along with much covert glancing at each other.
Another attempt.
T: With all the human catastrophes happeniing in our world today, do you feel that GOD is not paying attention?
M: What? i'm sorry, i wasn't paying attention.
Silence.
So i changed the conversational dynamic and said
M: i'm about ready for a drink. Would you like a quick early morning cocktail?
LONG SILENCE.
and they handed me some god-advertising magazine and walked off down the sidewalk.
Me, i went back to my raking.

Today i was talking with a friend and she was telling me about her recent involvement in "water aerobics". She was saying that after class each time, everyone just stays in the pool for a half hour, floating and relaxing. And she was upset because she absolutely cannot stay afloat. Now, this is your "average" 60+ year old woman, who has carefully followed the dire warnings that the AMA puts out informing us that if we are not "careful and dilligent", we women will put on 5 pounds each year after we are 35. She has done her part to validate this data. So........she says to me, "I wish i could get some of those floatie-things like little kids wear, but i don't think they make them to fit me". And i....as i am prone to do......said emphatically......"Oh! Yes they do! They're called "tires".
she hung up on me. and.......me being me......i am still, three hours later, laughing. when you're right, you're right!

i always love the little tv blurbstories about iconic "sightings". You know.....the face of Mary in a tortilla, or the image of Mother Theresa in a wrinkly apricot......These are neat, nutty things that entertain me. And i have had brief fantasies of "sighting" one myself and selling it on ebay. But, alas.....i have not been blessed with this particular gift. Oh sure, i've found potatoes that look like LBJ (as a matter of fact, about half the old Idahos in the produce aisle look like former presidents), and once there was a strewn assortment of pine needles on the deck that looked remarkably like Felix the cat. But...no sacred images. UNTIL........yep. Yesterday i bought a chocolate fudge pie at Kroger.....and when i got it home and was opening it up......THERE WAS THE FACE OF MOSES! Just etched into the dark, yummy goodness. Beard and all. But.....the moment was short. The beard was simply some form of mold, growing as a result of the store's undoubted policy of re-dating old bakery-goods. So....what the hell......if there's no beard, it ain't Moses. And.....i got nothin' to sell on ebay but a really bad pie.

Because of non-stop tv coverage of the hurricane, i have not been watching any political news this week.....until this morning, when i saw a portion of one of McCain's blahblah interviews. Now, i suppose i could be wrong, but i SWEAR that during the last few days, he has, if it is possible, gotten even WHITER. Pale. Ashen. Wan. Bleached. Drained. Despite his perpetual happy-face and upbeat lying rhetoric, he looks KAPUT. With any luck at all, he will, in the next couple of weeks, just tump over. Not dead.....just WHITED OUT.......like we used to do with old typewriter mistakes. Wouldn't that be great? Just a really really bad typo at last corrected.

There is just something WRONG with SheilaJacksonLee sporting her ever-present fancy hair-do when she is wearing JEANS! It's like serving a martini in a coffee mug....it may taste as good, but.....it just ain't right. i noticed that she didn't do any of her news conferences during the actual hurricane, so i expect she was worried that her giant wrap-around braid would come undone and she't take off like a whirlybird! i would've enjoyed that.

i am, as i say so often, a truly blessed woman. Yep......i endured the pounding of this hateful "Ike"...obviously a republican hurricane (eisenhower) and a wife-beater (Turner). It was loud and scary and long.....and naturally, i have a huge mess of tree limbs, over-turned bushes, over-flowing pool, and a missing fence. But, thanks to my Only Grrrl, some giant guys came here prior to the storm and boarded up the glass part of my house. so i am essentially intact. AND........i actually have electricity!!! Unfortunately, because i had absolutely no expectation of having same, i have nothing to cook.....just a countertop covered with jars of peanut butter, crackers, juniormints, cheetos and doggie treats. But.....i have ANOTHER countertop covered with bottles of rum, wine and tequila. So......i truly am a LUCKY and BLESSED woman. i do wish i had bought a drill-thingie so i could "unboard" the windows and doors......but that can wait for another day. And meanwhile, i have all the A/C i need!
And that's all i have to say for now.

i have so many thoughts, i do not know how to record them all. So, to begin, i shall say just this......I find it amazing that we are having this week's political convention/topics/discussions at all. When "fun" becomes this easy......it's no longer fun. Former beauty queens, the whitest man alive, out-of wedlock pregnant teenager, gun-totin', baby-birthin' mommas, ....... it's just too easy. i shall save my somewhat limited wit for worthier times/topics.

Best Quote I've Heard in a While......

Farrah Fawcett has been "out of the news" for several months since the announcement that she was diagnosed with intestinal cancer. Yesterday she was filmed by the usual horde of photographers, all of whom were shouting out brilliantly insightful questions. One guy who obviously had done his homework and knew that she had just returned from an "alternative medicine" clinic in Germany asked, "Hey Farrah! How was Germany?"
and her answer was perhaps the best one-liner i've ever heard......."Uh, Germany was, uh.......full of Germans."
i have often thought this exact thing......just never had the opportunity to verbalize it so beautifully. Make of it what you will.

I GOT NOTHIN'. nada. zip.

BOO!

It's early morning and i just went outside to get my newspaper. Walking down the sidewalk was a group of little kids on their way to the bus stop. I'm looking at them, admiring their Halloween costumes.......when i realize, "HEY! Those aren't costumes!" Nope....just little seven and eight year olds dressed in the standard "baby hooker" outfits and "junior thug" underwear-showing pants.
Hmmm. i was scared.

Weather or Not.......

Today is, according to our geezer-guy, flat-headed local weatherman, the eighth straight day of beautiful, blue sky, sunny, cool temp days. And so i was reflecting on this, as i have nothing of any more importance to occupy my mind.
The first pretty day was SPECTACULAR! INVIGORATING! MOTIVATING! i reveled in it.....raking leaves, whacking plants.....just savoring the pure clarity of the light and the feel of the breeze.
The second, third and fourth days passed in rather more of a "quiet appreciation". I went outside, strolled the fading Fall garden, and felt peacefully content.
The fifth, sixth and seventh days.......well, i honestly just over-looked them.
Now on DAY EIGHT......i find myself almost "bored" by the sameness. So it's pretty! I am craving something new......Show me some clouds! Give me some thunder! DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT...........for i am horribly human and need VARIETY and CHANGE and a sense of the UNIQUE.
Thus i have to accept that i am nothing more, or less, than an excitement junkie.
and of course, it's just one more lesson for me to PAY ATTENTION! It's a terrible thing to waste or overlook any day of this life. I shall attempt to do better tomorrow.

Are They Coming?

I have a "Crop Circle" in my front yard today. It was not there yesterday. What does it mean? I like to believe that i am about to receive a "message" from some alien place or being.....something vital and deep and yes, even PITHY. Something that will make a difference..... But i think it may just be some grass disease. I'm not the kind of person who would get faces of virgins on my window screens, or holy icons on my tortillas. So........it's most likely just chinch bugs.

There Is Something Valiant.....

about one hot-pink bouganvilla blooming on a gray, sun-bleached deck, surrounded by piles of brown and dead-gray leaves.......

and that's all i can say about it. except.....i want to be that plant.

I Just Figured It Out!

I've always been a "pink" kind of girl. From a very early age i learned that pink looks good on a blond. So i wore a lot of pink stuff. Later in life, i went to Las Brisas in Acupulco.......a beautiful place, with lots of pink jeeps, pink center stripes down the winding mountain road, pink and white china, and on and on. Anyway....it was my kind of place. So when i was having a pool put in my back area, i had it done surrounded by pink flagstone. When i had my countertops replaced in the kitchen, i chose a pinky-colored Corian. And the whole house had lots of pink scattered around. It just seemed the appropriate color for Club Katy. Flamingo-like.
Then all kinds of things happened in and to my life, which resulted in my suddenly living alone here, sans life-partner, and also sans visitors, for the most part. And gradually, my house began changing in much the same way that i did.
Once i started regaining myself, as a new version, i started using more colors. Orange. Red. Yellow. There's still the pink, but it's......not so noticeable.
So i was thinking about it and here's what i figured out......
Pink has become the color of cancer. Tshirts, cookware, bracelets......all pink.
I don't want cancer to be the color scheme of my life, or of my home. I want brighter colors, stronger colors.......less thought-provoking colors.
So......here's to orange pillows, purple furniture and yellow candles! they make me happier. And now that i'm not a blond, but more of a silver.....well, i wear pale blue and feel pretty.
and that's all i know for now.

You would think that after my NOT BLOGGING for months i would have something(s) to say. Nope. And it startled me a little bit, since i have always had a plethora of opinions. But......something has changed.
I restricted myself rigorously from watching tv "news" or anything having to do with "professional politics". Thus, much of my anger/angst has vanished. When i realized that almost without exception, every story i read or watched just sickened me, i decided to live a different way. So now when i get up in the mornings, there's no bubble-headed woman telling me new scary facts about breast cancer or lead in lipstick, no bleached-blond weather guy telling me what dire event has dangerous repercussions on the beaches, no fat-head corporate blowhard espousing his inane views on the stock market.......Instead, i watch a CD of an obscure opera or of a long-ago performance of gravity-defying ballet dancers......and i feel strengthened and uplifted and.....dare i say it?......happyful.
i have forsaken reruns of Beverly Hillbillies and Crossing Jordan, and in their place i........yep, i just go outside and watch the birds and squirrels. It's much more informative than anything on the tv. Even books have begun to make me question their importance........how can a page of words begin to compete with a polka-dotted dog on the trail of mr. mouserat? Or rival the amazing moves of a 16 year old kitty who truly still believes that she can lure a bluejay simply by pretending she's just part of the birdbath base? Most of the books i've read recently feel like reruns of previous authors' mistakes and efforts. Maybe it's just a mood i'm in, but for now......i'm just going to live in my reality. Dustbunnies and all.
How fortunate am i to have the opportunity to do ONLY WHAT I CHOOSE? tis a gift. and that's all i know.

Hello! after months of non-blogging due to user-ignorance of systems........I AM BACK! i think. i'll just punch "publish post" and see if this is working.

blahblahblahamipostingyet?

blahblahblahamipostingyet?

hello helloi is anyone in here?

blahblahblah....i'm attempting this all by myself.