EEEEEEK!
Two traveling, door-to-door CHRISTIAN ZEALOTS caught me in my front yard this morning. Me, trapped between a fallen tree limb, a big pile of debris, and two bible-waving, big-haired, flat-shoed......CHRISTIAN WOMEN! very unnerving, but......also entertaining .
Conversation as follows:
T (them): Have you found God yet?
M (me): i didn't know she was missing!
T: HE is always present.
M: Then why are you looking for her?
T: WE have found HIM, and we want to give you the opportunity to enjoy HIS BLESSINGS in the HEAVENLY KINGDOM.
M: That sounds like a place for kids' birthday parties. Is it new?
Silence. New tactic:
T: Let me read you a scripture that will help you to gain insight into our LORD'S hope for us.
M: No thank you. But if you have an instruction manual for my computer i'd appreciate a lesson. My email is all screwed up and i haven't been able to access my address book.
Silence, along with much covert glancing at each other.
Another attempt.
T: With all the human catastrophes happeniing in our world today, do you feel that GOD is not paying attention?
M: What? i'm sorry, i wasn't paying attention.
Silence.
So i changed the conversational dynamic and said
M: i'm about ready for a drink. Would you like a quick early morning cocktail?
LONG SILENCE.
and they handed me some god-advertising magazine and walked off down the sidewalk.
Me, i went back to my raking.